Pumpkin spice everything.

It starts in August with the grand poobah: the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice latte. With minutes, there’s a small but vocal group of folks insistent on telling you THERE’S NO PUMPKIN IN IT.

I don’t care. There’s plenty of pumpkin to be had elsewhere.

The pumpkin spice Frosted MiniWheats were pretty great a few years ago. I will forever miss the Odwalla pumpkin smoothie, but the Jamba Pumpkin Smash is pretty good as a replacement. The Planter’s pumpkin spice almonds were not great, but there were some pumpkin spice yogurt pretzels I had a while ago that were great. They might have been from Costco. Or maybe Trader Joe’s.

Most pumpkin spice things don’t have pumpkin. It’s fine, it’s the combo of cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, ginger, and allspice that we’re really looking for anyway. Warming spices. Spices that weave a protective spell as we journey into the darkness of autumn and winter. Sprinkle cinnamon and sea salt on your doorstep to create a barrier evil (and ants) cannot cross. Hang a cinnamon broom by the door for protection and prosperity.

Nutmeg will bring you luck and good fortune. Put a bit in your cocoa. Put a whole nutmeg in your pocket.

Clove will bring you strength, courage, and passion. And it will give a little lift to your seasonal fruit pies. Ginger brings life and vitality (and aids digestion). Allspice will bring you peace, but also determination.

But if you still want pumpkin in your pumpkin spiced treats, Mike’s Drive-in has pumpkin soft serve and it’s a damn delight.