I’m fully prepared for Rebecca to start screaming from the other side of the state by the end of this. I’m half surprised she hasn’t started already. She knows what’s coming.
As has been mentioned in previous years, I’m a sucker for anything that smells or tastes like pumpkin or pumpkin spice or even says it does. If the label says “pumpkin spice,” I’ll buy it. I can’t seem to help myself. And this year, I’m told there are two more products to add to my pumpkin spice shopping list: pumpkin-flavored Eggo waffles and Pop-Tarts. I haven’t yet been able to locate either, but they’re out there.
I had a hard time with the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte for a long time until I learned that if you add about a half-shot of vanilla, it actually kind of tastes like pumpkin pie. And now you probably don’t even need to go to Starbucks. Even most of the little mom-and-pop coffee places (unless they’re super snooty coffee connoisseurs) have the stuff to make you a pumpkin spice coffee drink.
Regardless, I’m not here to sell you anything (although I wholeheartedly endorse Philosophy’s Pumpkin Spice Muffin shower gel is ridiculous).
Tonight, I’m here to warn you of the terror that is the black jelly bean.
It’s just about this time every year when the world seems to slip into an entirely black-and-orange color scheme. I have no problem with this except when it comes to jelly beans.
I’m okay with the orange jelly beans. They’re usually orange or just a generic sweet something-or-other but the black ones, without fail, are black licorice. Unacceptable. If I wanted black licorice, that’s what I’d reach for.
And no, I don’t have a plan for what they should taste like should the jelly candy cartel ever take my yearly rant to heart. Maybe s’mores? Guinness! Yes, they should taste like Guinness.
Until then, you can keep your black jelly beans. No need to share, thanks.