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You can keep those. Thanks. – October 17, 2011

16 Oct

I’m fully prepared for Rebecca to start screaming from the other side of the state by the end of this. I’m half surprised she hasn’t started already. She knows what’s coming.

As has been mentioned in previous years, I’m a sucker for anything that smells or tastes like pumpkin or pumpkin spice or even says it does. If the label says “pumpkin spice,” I’ll buy it. I can’t seem to help myself. And this year, I’m told there are two more products to add to my pumpkin spice shopping list: pumpkin-flavored Eggo waffles and Pop-Tarts. I haven’t yet been able to locate either, but they’re out there.

I had a hard time with the Starbucks pumpkin spice latte for a long time until I learned that if you add about a half-shot of vanilla, it actually kind of tastes like pumpkin pie. And now you probably don’t even need to go to Starbucks. Even most of the little mom-and-pop coffee places (unless they’re super snooty coffee connoisseurs) have the stuff to make you a pumpkin spice coffee drink.

Regardless, I’m not here to sell you anything (although I wholeheartedly endorse Philosophy’s Pumpkin Spice Muffin shower gel is ridiculous).

Tonight, I’m here to warn you of the terror that is the black jelly bean.

It’s just about this time every year when the world seems to slip into an entirely black-and-orange color scheme. I have no problem with this except when it comes to jelly beans.

I’m okay with the orange jelly beans. They’re usually orange or just a generic sweet something-or-other but the black ones, without fail, are black licorice. Unacceptable. If I wanted black licorice, that’s what I’d reach for.

And no, I don’t have a plan for what they should taste like should the jelly candy cartel ever take my yearly rant to heart. Maybe s’mores? Guinness! Yes, they should taste like Guinness.

Until then, you can keep your black jelly beans. No need to share, thanks.

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6 Comments

Posted by on October 16, 2011 in October 2011

 

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6 responses to “You can keep those. Thanks. – October 17, 2011

  1. Mike G.

    October 16, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    I sense hypocrisy – are you saying that black licorice is the “one true flavor” – that it should not be enjoyed unless it’s in native licorice form?

    Yet you’re okay with anything that remotely tastes like pumpkin (and I’m going to assume you mean “pumpkin pie” because nobody eats pumpkin without copious amounts of clove and nutmeg).

    Maybe my reaction is a bit extreme, but if I followed your rules on black licorice I’d never be able to enjoy Good N Plenty again (note to self: Do they actually still make Good N Plenty).

     
    • octoberthoughtspdx

      October 17, 2011 at 1:06 am

      Yes, I should clarify.

      In general, when things are labeled “pumpkin” or “pumpkin spice”, one can generally assume they lean more toward the “pumpkin pie” end of the spectrum. Rarely does anyone eat pumpkin as a stand-alone. We could argue the merits of roasted pumpkin soup and whether it’s status as “real” pumpkin is sullied by cream and/or butter, but let’s save that for another day.

      With regard to black licorice: I say, in all forms licorice and non, you can keep it. All of it. Rather, you can argue with Rebecca over who gets it all or if you’re going to share with each other.

      And I have to wonder what on earth you’re doing on Copenhagen reading my silly blog. Shouldn’t you be carving wooden shoes or something?

       
      • Mike G.

        October 17, 2011 at 10:03 am

        My recipe for a silky gorgeous pumpkin bisque is basically a liquid pumpkin pie – butter, cream, and pumpkin spice.

        As for wooden shoes – I think those are Dutch, which is Holland. I’m here with the Danes, and should probably be eating a Danish or reading a Hans Christian Anderson book or something 🙂

         
  2. christel42

    October 17, 2011 at 1:01 pm

    I’m with you on the licorice phobia. Ew. Just ew. I do, however, LOVE your Guinness idea!

     
  3. Jeanette Hamje (@jhamje)

    October 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Oh, I love pumpkin spice! I sprinkle nutmeg and cinnamon on the top of cappuccinos and lattes whenever the spices are available near the packets of raw sugar and stirring sticks. I would get the flavored syrup, but raw sugar just adds that extra something. (Maybe I should carry ground cloves and ginger around with me?) I’m afraid, however, that the verdict is still out on the pumpkin spice Silk soy milk down in my fridge.

     
    • octoberthoughtspdx

      October 17, 2011 at 6:20 pm

      Ohhhh! I’ve been looking for that. Pop a mug of it into the microwave for a minute and – viola! – lovely fall beverage. The adolescent dork in me likes to pretend it’s Pumpkin Juice from Harry Potter.

       

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