Popcorn balls are one of the traditional treats of October. I’m sure it had something to do with celebrating the harvest and whatnot but Nebraska (Nebraska?!) lays claim to the original creation of popcorn balls with a story that might have come straight out of Fried Green Tomatoes.

Here’s my favorite popcorn ball quote EVAR (linked to its original article and some interesting popcorn ball recipes):

“Popcorn balls are to Halloween what fruitcake is to Christmas. A tradition everybody enjoys but nobody eats.”

That pretty much sums it up. We have them around because it’s tradition, but nobody really likes them. You know it’s true. If you get one that’s actually edible, you’re shocked. Of course, how would you know if it is edible? You know darn well that you’re not going to attempt eating any popcorn ball-esque objects people give you. You’re not stupid.

If you’re like me, you probably don’t have any truly fond memories of popcorn balls. And if you’re of my generation and perhaps a bit older, you remember with great bitterness every single house that gave you a popcorn ball when you went trick-or-treating. And you remember with great frustration your attempts at shoving it in through the not-quite-large-enough hole in the top of your orange plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat receptacle and scraping your knuckles as you did so on the sharp edges of said pumpkin.

Gahhhh. Popcorn balls.

So, starting this year, I make the following request: let’s make that our October swear. Stub your toe whilst raiding the Halloween candy in the middle of the night? Popcorn balls! Arrive at the costume party in your super-unique costume only to find seven other six-foot-tall Smurfs? Popcorn balls! Realize too late that your semi-permanent rave green hair coloring is not exactly semi at all? Popcorn balls!

Popcorn balls!