Okay, if you’ve known me for a while and you’ve been following along on my adventures through past Octobers, you know my distaste for popcorn balls.

I mean, really. Popcorn balls? What the hell. Who’s brilliant idea was this?

Someone with some leftover popcorn, no doubt. Or maybe a dentist looking for new clients.

There are no good commercially-made popcorn balls in the entire world. I think this is common knowledge.

But I saw a recipe for something I think might actually be made into a decent homemade popcorn ball with some slight adjustments.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Candy Corn Caramel Popcorn.

1 cup candy corn
3 tsp butter
5 tbsp heavy cream

Melt over low/medium heat.
Pop popcorn, remove extra kernels. No, I don’t know how much. I stole the recipe off someone’s Facebook page and he was using microwave popcorn. Don’t do that. Use real popcorn. Just guess at how much.
Pour melty stuff over popcorn evenly.
Add nuts (might I suggest pecans?) and shake like crazy to mix.
Spread popcorn over a silpat on a baking sheet.
Bake at 350 degrees for 3 minutes.
Let cool for 5 minutes.
Eat.

I’m sure you could probably form it into balls if that’s your thing, but I’m sure it would be just fine in whatever state it’s in when it leaves the oven.

Again, try this at your own risk. I haven’t tried it yet, but I will sometime soon. I’ll let you know if I find any adjustments that need to be made.

Shockingly, there is no Wikipedia page for popcorn balls. I don’t understand this. I did, however, find the following tidbit on the Wiki popcorn page:

The world’s largest popcorn ball was unveiled in October 2006 in Lake Forest, Illinois. It weighed 3,415 pounds (1,549 kg), measured 8 feet (2.4 m) in diameter, and had a circumference of 24.6 ft (7.5 m).

So, there you go. I do not know if that puppy is still there but, if you’re in the neighborhood, you should try to find out.

Oh, lord, there are pictures. I have to find something more productive to do with my time.